you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
