Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
