He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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