I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize