Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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