I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
