No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
