i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
