I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize