Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize