So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
