my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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