I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
