My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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