Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
