just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize