You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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