saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
