sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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