He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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