I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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