i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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