So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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