Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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