this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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