Someone shit on the floor
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
