too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Less talking, more tequila
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
