Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize