Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
