I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
