Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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