This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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