Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
