you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
