he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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