Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
