yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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