Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
