smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
