i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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