i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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