Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
its liver damage thursday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
