I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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