i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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