I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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