I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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