I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
