whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
