i don't like sucking hair
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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