You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
