I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
