He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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