So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
