I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
