you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
