My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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