so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
