So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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