i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
