i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
