i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize