chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
