it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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