Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
