no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
