Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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