that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
