Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
