Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
