i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize