Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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